first stuff

Ok I am not much of a share my soul to the world person and whenever I feel down or things aren't going right I don't like to post anything to Facebook or Twitter so I thought I would give this a go and not tell anyone so no one will read it anyway hehe.

So far this year has been pretty extreme for me. My wife and kids have been great but most of everything else is a little fucked up and not as much fun as it should be.
I have been feeling pretty isolated from most people I know and even left out. Most people say they have respect or love for me but I seem to be a ghost most of the time. Sure I am always the first there to help out and give 100% and I know the act of doing is it's own reward and I don't need to be told thanks but it kind of shits me off when someone else actually steps up and does something I have been doing for years and they are treated like a saviour. People just seem to take what I give for granted and always overlook me when things are planned which while I wont let it show really does hurt a little.

I also just recently had the opportunity to change jobs after being approached by a company. This was supposed to be my slow down job as the other one was killing me but it hasn't worked out that way so far. Sure the work is lighter than before but I have still been doing 50 hour weeks. That in itself wouldn't be so bad but the company is run by idiots who have no concept of what it takes in the real world to get things done. And unfortunately for me they have a really fucked up system of payment which means that at any one time they owe me 3 weeks pay which has been putting a strain on everything at home. Especially after all the extra costs involved from the car accident I had recently.  Seems to me that everyone is trying to do their best to break me financially at the moment and because of the slow pay I am falling farther and farther behind, I even had to hit the in-laws up for a $2000 loan the other day just to pay a bill. Hopefully now that I have waited out the no cash period and will be getting a pay cheque every week we can start to get back on top but if I get any more unexpected bills in the next few weeks I may just go under which is something I haven't had to think about in years.

Wow that got a little heavy quickly and was a little more negative than I wanted but hey it's my blog and I am a little bit depressed and concerned at the moment.
So to finish I will leave you with a quote from my 4 year old son Ryan.
"Only when I have dreams I am happy to say something"
Not sure if that is really wise or not, you decide!
Jack